Inseminoid (1981)

A group of  "space archaeologists" are threatened after one of their number is impregnated by a big grasshopper......Understandably this causes her to go a bit mental and start hunting them down one by one.....which is nice, if not a little extreme.

Norman J. Warren does a bloodier, bad taste Brit version of Alien on a budget of £12.50 (and gets banned in Iceland for his trouble). Ineptly made, hideously contrived but incredibly entertaining....Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet) shows what space exploration would be like if it were run by Strathclyde Passenger Transport; Whereas the Yanks have shiny rockets, jetpacks and lasers, the British archaeology team show here have buckets and spades, Kwik Fit overalls and a chainsaw(?) amongst their equipment.....oh, and big 80s hair.

The film can barely stretch to lighting let alone an FX budget, which actually works in its favour, giving the film a frantic, frayed edged realism and what it lacks in polish it makes up for with bloody violence, a strong cast, Judy Geeson getting sweatier and sexier the more "shot" her character gets and a balloon headed, poppy eyed Earthgirl molesting monster......even the (less annoying yet suprisingly more plinky and farty) minimalist electronic score is an asset (Warren originally favoured a classic orchestral sound but lack of cash made him settle for John Scott's Radiophonic Workshop inspired tinklings).

It truly has something for everyone....and if that hasn't convinced you, try to think how many other films feature a fairly famous British actress spread-eagled on a pool table getting impregnated by an alien using a length of hosepipe, washing up
liquid and green painted free range eggs?

Buy it now and thank me later.

Ash Loydon

Find out more about the DVD at Amazon.co.uk

Comments

[Linda]

Euuuugh. Sounds sort of...good. I loved the write-up, made me smile lots, but where else will I have seen this mildly famous lady before? Did she do washing up liquid commercials?

[Ash]

The 'midly famous' Judy Geeson (sister of Sally) was quite famous for her TV roles in the 70's, everything from 'Space: 1999' to 'The Return of the Saint' via the fantastic 'Star Maidens'. She's resided in The US for the past 20 years appearing in TV fayre as varied as 'Charmed' and 'The Love Boat: The Next Wave'...hope that helps! As an aside the movie also features the one time Mrs. Steve Martin; 'English Rose' Victoria Tennant and the bitch-tastic Stephanie Beacham. A veritable star fest in fact!

[Linda]

Stephanie Beacham will always be Connie to me.

[Ash]

Well, imagine Connie in space fighting a big balloon headed monster and you're halfway there!
Go on.....buy it! you know you want to!