DVD Review: Starcrash (1978)

Beautiful Caroline Munro as space-bikini babe, Stella Star!  Gold-clad Christopher Plummer using mystical powers to "halt the flow of time"!  Kung fu fighting Amazons, acrobatic Troglodytes, and lightsaber battles with stop-motion robots!  The Hoff firing frickin' laser beams from his eyes!  Is Starcrash the greatest movie ever made?  Probably not, but it's awfully good fun.  Second best of the late seventies Star Wars rip-offs, behind Kinji Fukasaku's mind-blowing Message from Space (1978). 

Italian writer-director and sci-fi buff Luigi Cozzi weaves a wild yarn full of in-jokes and genre references.  The magnificent super-spaceship "Murray Leinster" (named after the s-f writer/magazine editor) goes missing and is sought by the Emperor of the Stars (Christopher Plummer) and his cape-swishing arch-enemy, Count Zarth Arn (erstwhile Maniac (1980) Joe Spinell).  Fleeing the Galactic Police, interstellar rogue Stella Star and her bubble-permed, mystical sidekick Akton (faith healer-turned-trash film star (yes, really) Marjoe Gortner) stumble on some survivors who babble about "red monsters."

After a spell in prison, and a hair raising escape, the Emperor pardons Stella and recruits her to foil Zarth's dastardly schemes and rescue his son, Prince Simon (David Hasselhoff - sporting copious mascara).  She teams up with the super-powered prince and sturdy, comic relief robot Elle (Munro's first husband, Judd Hamilton!) and sets off on a campy, colourful adventure. When Zarth counter-attacks with his deadly "doom machine", Stella discovers the universe has only one hope: the mysterious, fourth-dimensional attack... "starcrash"! 

The plot is pure Flash Gordon hokum and basically one, big chase. Yet Starcrash exhibits a playful sense of fun more beguiling than Dino DeLaurentiis' lumpen fiasco.  Packed with more than 300 frames of special effects, numerous psychedelic sets, stylish costumes (Zarth's henchmen wear mod leather outfits like those in Mario Bava's Planet of the Vampires (1965)) and spaceship battles, Luigi Cozzi indulges his sci-fi dreams.  A green, glowing head with tentacles resembles the alien overlord from Invaders from Mars (1953).  A giant robot mimics Talos from Jason and the Argonauts (1963).  Stars shine in rainbow colours.  Someone pages a "Captain Ray Bradbury" over the intercom.  Humour ranges from intentional (wacky Elle sounding off like Foghorn Leghorn), to unintentional (everything Marjoe Gortner says or does), but John Barry delivers a lovely score - he would later re-cycle for Out of Africa (1985). 

Made by Italians, but bankrolled by Americans Starcrash proved a nice, little earner for Roger Corman's New World Pictures and was set for a sequel.  Star Riders was to be made by none other than Mario Bava, but stalled after Cozzi refused to rewrite his original screenplay to include Stella Star.  While it's a shame Cozzi's career declined into z-grade shock, it's hard to sympathise when he denied us more of Caroline in her skimpy, leather bikini.  Fans of the lithe, leggy one will be disappointed to hear her plummy vowels dubbed into a transatlantic twang.  The Hoff is ,well, the Hoff, while Christopher Plummer looks ready to crack up in every scene.  He should count his lucky stars he wasn't in Bitto Albertini's ultra-rare, Starcrash 2 (1981) the post-party come-down to Cozzi's interstellar rave.